Monday, October 4, 2010

So I'm sitting here wondering why I need constant validation from others to feel ok with me. If I'm not getting constant compliments I feel bad about myself. And then I thought about people who don't and why. There's a reason. I don't think people are born confident. Some people were probably constantly praised and told how great they were and they could do anything when they were young children. And then some may have already gone through what I am going through now. Learning confidence, gaining self esteem. Some people may have been who I've been. Been who I am. And are who they are now and don't need that constant validation anymore. Its a process I imagine. And although I have been going through platues, valleys and such, the journey is just beginning. I need to remember that excitement and enthusiam I had for the roads yet to be travelled. I was always quiet. But I'm finding my voice and everyday it gets a little louder. And everyday it out talks that other voice that constantly says "your not pretty enough, your not smart enough, your not thin enough...". Eventually that voice will get tired of not being heard and the self worth will be as natural as breathing to me.

But right now... I still need to gain the strength and endurance to keep working at it. The trip just started. I bet by the time I'm 35 I will be better. And at 37, I'll be even better than that! And 40... I can only imagine the woman I'll be at 40!

I'm sure the best is yet to come!


  1. well let me start by saying. you're wonderful.

    i feel where you're coming from. too many times people try to break you down. (fake) friends. jealous family members. mean/hateful people. they try to make you insecure. by not extending those words of encouragement. but trying to reinforce insecurities, they do so much damage to people. it's not even what they say, it's the way they make you feel, about yourself.

    this is just in general. the biggest favor you can do for yourself is to love yourself. love yourself as is, the way God loves you. look at yourself as beautiful. look at yourself with that light that shines from within you. you'll be good by 35. you'll be great at 37. but you can be awesome right now. just have to allow yourself to see that.